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CAUGHT IN THE NET 160 - POETRY BY RICK LUPERT
Series Editor - Jim Bennett for The Poetry Kit -
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|
When I die
bury me in an above ground cemetery.
Put up a ladder so people can climb
up and see as far as they can see.
from When I Die by Rick Lupert |
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CONTENTS
1 - BIOGRAPHY
2 – POETRY
New Potato |
3 - PUBLISHING HISTORY
4 - AFTERWORD
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1 – BIOGRAPHY: Rick
Lupert
Rick Lupert has been involved with L.A. poetry since 1990. He is the recipient
of the 2014 Beyond Baroque Literary Arts Center Distinguished Service Award and
was a co-director of the Valley Contemporary Poets for 2 years. He created the
Poetry Super Highway (
http://poetrysuperhighway.com/ ) and hosted the weekly Cobalt Cafe reading
for almost 21 years. His first spoken word album "Rick Lupert Live and Dead"
featuring 25 studio and live tracks was released in March, 2016. He’s authored
20 collections of poetry, including “Donut Famine”, "Professor Clown on Parade",
"Romancing the Blarney Stone", “Making Love to the 50 Foot Woman”, “The
Gettysburg Undress” (Rothco Press) and “Nothing in New England is New”,
and edited the anthologies “Ekphrastia Gone Wild”, “A Poet’s Haggadah” and the
noir anthology “The Night Goes on All Night. He also writes and draws (with
Brendan Constantine) the daily web comic “Cat and Banana” and writes the Jewish
Poetry column “From the Lupertverse” for
http://www.JewishJournal.com/. He is regularly featured at venues all over
the world.
http://poetrysuperhighway.com/
http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/ricklupert
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2 - POETRY
Over Canada
It is 7:30 in the morning and my eyes are
staging a revolution of closing hours.
I message Brendan to ask if he is awake
with a quick follow up telling him I am not.
They will not hold planes for tired people.
So if you wish to go to a place that is
different from the place you are in
you will need to defer to the schedules
of others. Behind me they discuss
the size of water bottles. This is a topic
I have nothing to add to. They say this
flight is nonstop but I can’t imagine
any other kind.
New Potato
In Allentown, Pennsylvania
my father in law walks in from the back yard
a stack of fountain pens in his hand
asks my mother in law
Do you have an old potato you’re not using?
She explains she only has new potatoes.
He asks if he can just have part of one
and she explains, essentially it’s all or nothing
when it comes to potatoes.
He wants to use the potato to clean his fountain pens.
She gives a new potato to the cause.
It’s okay.
Getting more potatoes
is not really an issue.
When I Die
When I die
have a jazz funeral.
Second line it. Make it funny.
Guys dressed as Groucho
rainbow suspenders
comic arrows through their heads.
When I die
bury me in an above ground cemetery.
Put up a ladder so people can climb
up and see as far as they can see.
When I die
turn my house into a museum.
Let people open the cabinets and
see how I hid the curios from my travels.
Let the smaller ones try on my outfits.
Make cat petting a free add on experience.
Actually make that mandatory.
When I die
take my wife in your arms.
Don’t let her feel alone.
King of the Peas
Upon eating the largest pea on his dinner plate
our seven year old declared I just ate the king.
I just ate the king of the peas!
Which made him the king of the peas
though his reign was cut short due to a
technicality in pea-law where
you have to actually be a pea.
Animal
Hospitality
I can tell which cat is walking through my house
by the sounds its paws make as they come
into contact with the wood floors.
At one in the morning when I finally arrive at my bed
Cleo walks in. She is the oldest cat. Not in the world,
just in the house. You can barely hear her since we took her claws
nine years ago. She propels herself to the bed
like a kite. No sound. No bounce. She makes herself.
comfortable. At five in the morning she will purr.
I’d tell you the name of my next cat is Tigger,
but then you would judge me.
He walks in like a pony wearing tap shoes.
If I make even the slightest audible sound or motion
he will rush to the bed and lick any visible skin
of mine he can find. I am okay with this.
Our third cat is larger than a moose. He’d come to
the bed but he can’t find room. His breathing is
louder than the president’s helicopter.
He will cry for his breakfast with the imperative
of Vietnam. You’re running a zoo my friend once said
to which I replied. Let me show you the Chinese
water dragon and the frog. Did I tell you I tried to keep
a bird alive that I’d found outside? It didn’t make it.
Did I tell you about the caterpillar I killed?
Breakfast at the
Hotel
The elderly couple sitting in the corner
staring at each other with the weight of
total reassessment.
The two girls who had their mimosas
Imported from the bar with the instructions
keep them coming.
The other couple, woman on the phone
arranging lunch with her mother.
her second phone call. The man
eventually walks away, eyes on his watch.
The tolerable coffee.
The waitress and her instructions.
And me writing it down
as if that makes sitting alone
okay.
Pencil Sharpener
by Her Bed
When I was younger I met a woman
who kept an electric pencil sharpener
by the side of her bed.
After my initial alarm
I got up the nerve to ask her
do you sharpen a lot of pencils in bed?
She had no idea what I was talking about.
Thought I was being all metaphorical.
Had completely forgotten
about her own pencil sharpener
which was a huge source of relief for me
on that particular occasion.
The Entire History of the San Fernando Valley
It is already tomorrow and we are eastbound on Sherman Way
It is possible that we just missed gun shots at Topanga Canyon
Or maybe it was fire crackers in front of the Big Lots
I just returned from Syracuse and boy is my family tired
of my questions about who they are, and where they came from
I wish the Erie Canal had been extended to Sepulveda
I would ship my words to Albany. The future is in mules
We are still eastbound. Some day we will hit Van Nuys Boulevard
which died before I was born, 1968 according to the certificate
but, of course, I mean 1982. Send your flowers to the former
location of the Bob’s Big Boy. There will be
a meditation at Sherman Way
We are sprouting orange groves out of our steering wheels
Entrepeneuse
My wife wants to start a beard cleaning service
she announces Saturday morning as she picks
unmentionables out of mine.
We could set it up right next to your cat service,
she says, you know, the one in which all the cats
in the world come to you, so you could pet them?
Before I can respond she says
It probably wouldn’t work as she wouldn’t want
to touch anyone else’s beard.
Orlando
At Encino breakfast
a seven year old draws a monkey
with rainbow colors.
In Orlando
fifty sons and daughters
who would have loved it.
New Potato
Originally appeared in the book “Professor Clown on
Parade”
Rothco Press, December 2016
Over Canada
Originally appeared in the book “Romancing the Blarney
Stone”
Rothco Press, December 2016
When I Die
Originally appeared in the book “Donut Famine”
Rothco Press, December 2016
Animal Hospitality
Originally appeared in the book “Making Love to the 50 Ft.
Woman”
Rothco Press, May 2015
The Entire History of the
Originally appeared in the anthology “The Good Things
About America”
San Fernando Valley
Write Bloody Publishing, April 2009
Entrepeneuse
Originally appeared in the book “Making Love to the 50 Ft.
Woman”
Rothco Press, May 2015
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4 - Afterword
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We are looking for other poets to feature in
this series, and are open to submissions. Please send one poem and a short
bio to - info@poetrykit.org
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are Transparent Words ands Poetry Kit Magazine, which are webzines on the Poetry Kit site and this can be found at -
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